Living abroad means we are far apart from our family members and by hook or by crook we need to make good companions and be one for others.
“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (49:13)
You Cannot Carry Yourself to Your Grave at the End of the Day
First and foremost, we must study and understand the basics of ukhwah or simply, friendship. Clearly, it is easy to learn theoretically rather than practicing it in daily life. We had learnt during our first year in Love Islam for Eternity (LIFE), there are three principles of ukhwah; which are (1) taaruf; to get to know someone, (2) tafahum; to get to understand them and takaful; to help them whenever needed. These are the main pillars in building a relationship (read: ukhwah Islamiyyah). We can’t build a house without having strong pillars to rely on, right? The same concept is used in our relationship with housemates. We cannot build it without knowing and understanding them.
It Takes Two to Tango
Being together as housemates means we are willing to practice the concept of toleration and cooperation thoroughly. Moreover, there is a big difference between being housemates for the meantime and roommates in hostels; as being housemates, we are staying together for such a longer time at least a year and all around our daily routines must be worked out together. For example doing dishes, cooking, laundry, paying bills, cleaning and many more. To be fair, no one is a maid to one another! Everyone should be responsible to anything theirs or anything they consume. If we are such a lazy head, then that attitude should be distinguished as soon as possible if we don’t want people to hate our presence. Most of all don’t make our own self as a butler in the house. We won’t win anything, we won’t be the best people if we DO EVERYTHING. We won’t have that much time to take care of the house on our own when the living creature inside is not only us. Build up a schedule. However if no one will initiate, then we must be the one to work it out and ask them to do it together.
`When a Bulb is Broken, You Don’t Buy a New House; You Fix the Bulb!
Apart from that, we must realize that one differs to another. Our behaviour varies according to our background, family, growing environment and way of thinking. By knowing this, we should not only understand but be a reliable person too. In working out a relationship, it doesn’t mean that each person need to give and take equivalently. Somehow, when anything comes up we really need to create a ‘win-win’ situation. Here comes the point when I said it is a mistake if we don’t know our housemates well. We have to realize the different point among us however instead of reminiscing it we should emphasize the point of similarity. Remember, united we stand, divided we fall? I mean, by knowing each other we’ll know our similarities and for sure these similarities will bring us forward rather than stress out about being difference. For instance, if we dislike anyone interrupting us in the kitchen while we are cooking; meanwhile his or her intention is just to lend a hand in preparing the meal, try to divert their intention by asking them to do the dishes and so on. Be creative in handling people around us. Our imperfections complete each other.
Let the Words Fall Out
We are not living in this world for this meantime pleasure, this world is a place to do as much as we can to please Allah Taala so that we can live happily ever after in paradise. If so, why don’t we strive to take our beloved people together with us to paradise? This world is temporary, every single thing regarding you is temporary; your emotions, feelings, good things or problems. We are not only living in this world for us as a whole, we need each other. We need people to make our clothes, to build furniture, houses and more. Same goes in living as a university student, we are supposed to educate ourselves, but it is a loss if we don’t grab the education of life which is the way to open up to people. Say it out straightforwardly and let them know what we want or need. People will never know if we leave our heart screaming across the room. Speak up our mind. As housemates, it is very encouraged to organize a brief meeting periodically. There will be barakah in musyawarah (meeting) insya-Allah. Problems will be solved if we start to talk about it. If we’re having difficulties in expressing our troubles, then just let it go. Be ease on people, and of course to you yourself too.
The companions in life is one of the love of Allah Taala, and it is really a disaster if we take our friends around us, to be exact our housemates for granted. Appreciate them, be kind to everyone around you. True friends don’t talk behind you – they lead you to the right path together. These alphabets can be typed easily yet it is our action which will give a meaning in our life. Don’t live in hatred. Human makes mistakes and it is so beautiful if we can forgive others whereas we had done plenty mistakes too. Make a lot of friends. Be sure that our friends will remember us when they can’t find us in the paradise later on, so that they can ask Allah Taala to place us together with them. When any obstacles come up, always be patient and seek help from Allah Taala, the Most Knowing.
28th September 2017.
Amyrah Aina binti Mohd Zamri,
Forth Year Medicine Student,
Deputy of Human Development Bureau 2018/2019.
Proofreader: Ainin Zahidah binti Kamal Zuhairi